Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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