We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
