If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
