just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
