Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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