oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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