There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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