ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he told me I talked like a deaf person
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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