East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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