Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you win again, gameday.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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