is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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