I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
They have beer where we have blood.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
