TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
