Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
