he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she peed on how many people?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
