weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
