Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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