i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
