Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
