Just fell off a train. Bad.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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