Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
