two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
