winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize