you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
