he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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