C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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