Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
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