I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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