dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize