You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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