my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
