I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
