I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
