I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
