I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
