Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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