i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
