Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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