no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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