When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm too high and old for this...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
