I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize
