Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
