this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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