she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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