I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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