i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
im holly from the hills drunk
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
