Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
