help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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