Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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