Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize