remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
