we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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