Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
