Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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