I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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