hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
