The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize