So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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