i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
