so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
