toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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