did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
