Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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