another moral hangover. fuck.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So many bounce houses so little time
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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