im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
