I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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