Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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