Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize